When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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