this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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