i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just high enough for therapy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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