so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
