I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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