Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
