i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
