1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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