In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
