thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need a beard to bite.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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