how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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