I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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