on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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