I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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