i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
