Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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