She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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