he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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