remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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