Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what to say to that.

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(619): View more from California

i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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(863): View more from Florida

Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials

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(256): View more from Alabama

the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people

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(718): View more from New York

I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...

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