New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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