Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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