You made me cry and you don't even care
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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