I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish I only lived at night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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