"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
