are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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