Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
