Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
