so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
