I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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