Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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