my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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