I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish you could order shots online.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
