That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
