if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
