Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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