3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
