with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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