i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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