pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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