He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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