honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
