I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
