but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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