We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Holy shit dude........stairs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
