I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
