Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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