I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
