Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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