Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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