just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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