farters have to be the big spoon...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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