we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
