fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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