She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
