Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
