that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
