Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
