i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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