I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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