if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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