How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize