I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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