Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize